


just too close to love you

by Anonymous



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pathetic attempt at a one shot, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 23:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21065270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He catches himself and asks instead, "one last time?"





	just too close to love you

**Author's Note:**

> lol I tried   
will probably delete later because I'm working on a longer fic with an actual plot

Carter deserves better. 

When Nolan looks at Carter in his bed, he's sure of this.   
They were watching something, but Nolan doesn't remember much past that. He's trying to find the right moment to initiate something, but Carter doesn't seem so easy tonight. Then he hates himself for thinking like that. 

Carter's a good person. He supports charities and he's better with kids than Nolan will ever be. Carter is so charming. He's got all of Philadelphia wrapped around his finger. 

He's also super fucking nice to Nolan, even though he probably doesn't deserve it. 

He's good with whatever Nolan wants to do. He's not picky like that, apparently. When Nolan's feeling fucked up with migraines, Carter will come over and just...makes it better. It doesn't take more than a text to get him to come over. 

There's the same sad look that Carter gives when he puts Nolan in these ridiculously impossible situations. Like when he asks Nolan to delete all the hookup apps off his phone, even though he already promised not to use them. Or when he asks Nolan to leave the bar early with him, but Nolan stays to prove a point. Or when he gives Nolan a complicated look everytime he ignores Carter in favour of some blonde chick. 

Carter brings it up often when they're alone and Nolan's vulnerable. Despite himself, he can only give the same answer. 

"What will they think?" 

Carter's eyes go dark. Angrily, his face tightens. Nolan hates seeing him like this, but what the hell is he _supposed_ to do? 

"Jesus Christ, Nolan." It's sharper when Carter says his name, piercing his frustration as punctuation. "That's all you fucking care about." 

He wants to say it's not his fault. If it wasn't for _literally_ everyone else, Nolan would parade him around the city, so fucking proud. But it's an exhausted arguement. A routine they fall into because it's so fucking easy. 

Instead, this time - because he's so tired - he just says, "I know." 

They just lie there in silence. He can feel the heat radiating off of Carter, the way it always does. He's burning holes into the ceiling. 

Maybe it would be best to finish this conversation tomorrow, but Nolan knows it'll all end the same. 

After what seems like an hour, Carter speaks. Barely above a whisper he says, "you know this is it, right?" 

"What." But he can't bring himself to be angry. It's so understandable and that's why he can't be mad that nobody owes him an answer. 

Carter turns to look at him. 

"I'm going to move on, I think." He says it so surely that Nolan wants to retort with sarcasm. Good luck, he wants to say. 

He catches himself and asks instead, "one last time?"   
Carter looks at him blankly. 

"Fine," he says, at last. He moves towards Nolan, hovering slightly. "But don't kiss me, okay?" 

Nolan wants to laugh that off. They always kiss, it's the best part. Carter isn't laughing. He presses the heel of his hand into Nolan's chest. 

"Okay. Whatever."


End file.
